Making Time for Everyone in a Family of 9 (Is that possible?)

Making time for everyone everyday is a skill, one that here lately I do not have or at least it’s not mastered. Being organized and having everything and everyone worked into a 24 hour day is demanding and seems impossible most days.  I am only one person but on any given day I need to be mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, aunt and oh yeah just me. How do we prioritize who gets our attention? Who gets one on one time? Who gets 5 mins? Who gets an hour? Who gets left out today and moved to the top of the list tomorrow? Questions I struggle with daily.

As a mom most of my time is spent with my kids. I spend all day with our three youngest while the other four are at school ( two in elementary school and two in college) My days consist of ABC songs, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Paw Patrol, hide and seek, potty training, dinosaur races, zombie chaces, breakfasts,lunches and naps   (not for me but for them and no they do not sleep at the same time)  We somehow manage to fit in trips to the grocery store, to the doctor and to the dentist. Everyday is different but yet somehow the same.  In the afternoon we pick up the other two Littles from the bus and then a whole different set of time consuming events take place. We have homework, cooking dinner, bath times, dance practice,evening play and bedtimes. Normal for many yes, however some days I feel I have left someone out of the ” Mommy and me” time block.   I spend a lot of time with baby girl, she just turned one so she still needs me for most things. Wild man and Diva take up most of my evenings with homework and wind down time after school. Some days it takes wild man (who is autisic) hours to de-stress after school and then there’s diva. Your never know if you’re getting good diva or RAD (Reactive attachment disorderdiva.  After school is always an adventure. Our oldest daughter calls or texts me every few days. And our oldest son, well if I text or call him I get to talk with him.  Guess that’s the difference between girls and boys. My kids are my focus 24/7.  So where does everyone else fit in?

My poor husband, love his heart. It’s  a good thing he is a patient man. Most days he is up and heading out the door as or before the kids go to school and he comes in around dinner time or later. His evenings consist of helping with bath time (if he is here), evening play time and he is in charge of getting baby girl to sleep while I work on the rest of he littles. We will share about our days and then around 10 or 1030 as our youngest three year old finally goes to sleep, I kiss him good night and go to bed.  I have about two hours before baby girl wakes up for a bottle. 

Before we moved, we had a monthly date night.  Our older kids or my parents would come to the house and watch our crew while we went out for a few hours just the two of us.  Sometimes it was a movie, maybe a nice dinner, or maybe a nice long ride on our Harley, and yes sad to say even Christmas or birthday shopping. It didn’t matter to me what we did as long as it was just us. We could talk about things and enjoy each other’s company without a little one crying or pulling our arm.  Now that’s it’s just us and the Littles in a new state where we don’t have any family  we don’t have that.  I miss our date nights. 

As for the rest of my family and friends all I can say is thank goodness for social media.   During the day it is much easier to send out a quick text or message than it is to talk on the phone.  I do miss the sounds of their voices and a few of us have tried actual phone calls,  but my kids do not understand  “Mommy is on the phone please be quiet” in fact they do the exact opposite. I miss seeing my parents every few days or having my brother and his kids just show up out of nowhere. I would give anything to get a text or call from my best friend and her say, “Hey I’m coming over. Get the chicken flick ready I’m bring the peanut M&M’s and the  Dr Pepper”  I do not have a huge friends circle but I have some great people in my life and there are days I miss them like crazy.  I wish I had more time in the day (week) to talk to everyone.

I wish I could say I am a next to prefect Christian, but that would be a lie.  I do love my Jesus and I know He loves me, however I fail Him daily.  I use to have my nose in my Bible all the time but lately I can’t seem to find the time to do my daily devotionals let alone spend hours just lost in His Word. This is one area in my life I want to change, desperately.  I miss my one on one’s with Jesus.

That brings it to me time.  I know  you are thinking what is me time in a family of 9?  Truth is not much. By he time me day is done and the last little is finally in bed, I’m tired really tired.  So my me time normally is a few minutes right before I close my eyes. That’s my blog time, my games on my phone time (currently Wheel of Fortune) and if I can keep my eyes open for more than 10 minutes my reading of how to be a better mommy books.   

 The truth is I wish there was more time in the day. I wish I could talk to my parents, my brother, my friends and other family members everyday. But life happens, I can have full intentions to call someone and then the day will just get away from me.  For those that think I am ignoring you or think I just don’t care anymore, forgive me because that’s simple not true. I love you all.  Life has just simply gotten in the way.  I’m trying.

I hope to get better at managing my time. I hope to give my kids and husband more quality time instead of rushed and “I’m to busy right now” time.  In order to do so I must make my time with God my top priority.  With Him as my center He will make a way for me to have quality time for everyone. I love my beautiful chaos and I want to be the best that I can be.  Time is precious and I don’t want to spend it unwisely.
From our beautiful chaos to yours time is what you make of it. Use it to make memories, use it wisely. Use it fully. 

Author: beautifulchaosmomma

I am a stay at home mom to 7 wonderfully crazy children. I have two biological children and my husband and I have adopted five little ones through foster care. Our children are 23, 20, 8, 7, 5, 5, and 3. I recently self published a book called Beautiful Chaos Our Story about Foster Care, Adoption, Faith, and Love. Pick up your copy today on Amazon or on my website at ❤️

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