I lay here tonight with a thousand different things running through my mind. I need to go to the store tomorrow, need to make a car payment, need to buy gifts for the kids Christmas parties for this Friday, and wondering what I can make for dinner tomorrow (it’s church night so it needs to be quick, easy, and not messy) And then I look over and see two of my little loves finally fast a sleep without a care in the world. How did I get so lucky?
Answering the call to become a foster mom has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. With every placement with every courthearing, and with every tear God was preparing us for you. There are days, most in fact, I feel like a complete failure at this mom thing. However when I see them cuddled up so nice and warm, one in his magical pajamas and the other with his blue blanket, my heart melts. I have to be the luckiest mom in the world.
And God did not stop there, he saw fit to bless us even more with two more sisters and another brother. How did we get so lucky?
I never thought I would get the chance to be a mother again after my oldest son, big bubby (brother), was born over 18 years ago, but God found a way. And that gift is something I do not take for granted. I pray that I can be the mom they need me to be: the one who protects them from the outside world, the one who teaches them simple life lessons such as saying “please and thank you”, the one who shows them what a loving family should look like, the one they will fight with, you will kids trust me, but yet know no one has your back like mom, the one who loves you no matter what, and the one you go to when life has you down. I want to be that mom.
I want to inspire you. I want you to know that you inspire me. On the not so easy days I can look at any of your faces and see why I do this, why I became a foster parent, why I love doing what I do. You my little loves inspire me to be a better person, to fight for those who can not fight for themselves, and to love knowing sometimes I will not recieve it back. You make me want to make this world a better place. When I look at you I can’t help but think of Mary, Jesus’s mother. No I am saying I am saint like her, but merely comparing our situations. God could have picked anyone to be His Sons mother, but He choose Mary a simple young women, from a small town, with no much to offer. I am a no one. I come from a small rural town, I do not have a four year college degree, my life is simple, I talk with a southern twang, and I am not a great chef, but God looked past all of that and gave me you. He does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called. Out of all the moms in the world He picked me to be your forever mom. How did I get so lucky? I truly do not deserve to be this blessed.
So while my mind races with the thousands of things we moms think of before our day shift ends and our night shift begins I am taking a few moments just to thank God for giving me you. I would not trade a moment of our time together. From the laughs and giggles, to the potty training oh-ohs, to the I’m not eating that, to the troubles with your math homework, to the sweet “I love you bestest mommy”, and everything in between. Thank you for being my inspiration to get up each morning (all though it does not have to be before 5 every morning) Thank you for letting me know through your smiles and laughter that I don’t suck at this parenting thing as bad as I think I do. I may not be the best parent but I sure am the luckiest.
Thank you God for believing in me when I don’t beleive in myself. Thank you for blessing me with not only my two wonderful kids but for making a way for me to be momma to my five little loves. I hope when you look my way you say “Well done good and faithful servant well done”
I pray our story touches the lives of others so more children can find their forever homes. My hope is to inspire others to step out in faith and not fear the unknowns about foster care and become part of the solution to a problem that is much larger than people realize. I pray that I become a better mom daily to these precious children You have placed in my care. Give me strength, wisdom, and enough love to go around everyday. Thank you Lord for placing this on my heart. And thank you for my beautiful chaos. How did I ever get so lucky? Time to get these two into their own beds.
From our beautiful chaos to yours life happens in small moments, don’t get so consumed with the details that it passes you by.