Phrases I Never thought I would Say

“Because I’m your mother that’s why.”  And “Because I said so” and we can’t forget “I don’t care who started it, I’m going to finish it” Oh how I hated those phrases as I  was growing up.  What did they even mean? Why did it matter? Both logical questions for a child to ask when mom was yelling one of these at the top of her lungs out of frustration.  I will never say those things to my child when I’m older said my younger self.  Guess what younger me?  You lied to yourself.  Liar liar pants on fire.  
Last week I found myself saying these very phrases to my little loves.  With my husband way on business I was out numbered and on a few occasions stressed to the max, as my daughter would say. After finding myself locked in my bathroom for a few minutes of peace I could not help but think about my younger days when I told myself I would never say those things to my kids.  I now understand, sometimes you just get so overwhelmed you say things that don’t really make sense to the conversation. But you say them just hoping they work. Hoping your kids don’t continue the arguement or the behavior. So Mom, I’m sorry for all those times when bub and I got you to that breaking point. I get it now, I mean I really get it.  And while I thought about these phrases another list popped in my head. If your a mom admit it, we all say things that are a bit odd from time to time. So here are a few things I thought I would never say, but have some more than once:

* No you may not wear “paghetti” on your head

* Toilet water is not okay to use for tea parties

* No you may not lick my armpit 

* Crayons do not go in the dogs butt 

* Yes you must wear pants, we can’t run around naked 

* No we can not trade your brother in for a new one because he “looked at you” funny

*Stop barking at your sister

* I know I’m the meanest mommy ever but your stuck with me sorry

* The rug in your room is not your personal bathroom

* No we can’t play the burp game till someone throws up

*You put your dirty underwear where?!

* If you can’t lick my armpit I’m pretty sure you can’t lick my feet 

* You know we don’t eat things off the floor…. it’s the last cookie? Fine just stop crying 

* Mommy put herself in timeout ask me again in 5 minutes 

*You used my lipstick as a marker because you ran out of pink….awesome

* No jumping on your bed also meant no jumping on your brothers bed

*You wiped your own butt yeah!! You used a whole roll of toilet paper? where’s the plunger 

* Toothpaste should not be used as shampoo to turn your hair blue

* You need me to cover your feet with the blanket that’s in our hands? 

* No I don’t want to see how far you can get your finger up your nose

*Is that brownie in your hair or is that…..omg go to the bathroom now don’t touch anything

* No we can go fishing for matchbox cars in the toilet

* Wait why would we need to fish matchbox cars out of the toilet????

Oh the joys of little ones.   Never dull Never boring always entertaining 

From our beautiful chaos to yours what are some things you’ve said to your little loves that you never imagined would come out of your mouth?

Author: beautifulchaosmomma

I am a stay at home mom to 7 wonderfully crazy children. I have two biological children and my husband and I have adopted five little ones through foster care. Our children are 23, 20, 8, 7, 5, 5, and 3. I recently self published a book called Beautiful Chaos Our Story about Foster Care, Adoption, Faith, and Love. Pick up your copy today on Amazon or on my website at ❤️

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