There are moments as parents we catch ourselves thinking about as our little loves grow up. There are the early questions, When will he walk? When will she talk?What sport will she play? Will he be in the band? And then questions that come as they get older, Will they go to prom? To college? Will she get married? Will he be okay? All questions that have ran through my mind more than once.
As an autism mom, some of even these simple questions leave me in tears after a long evening of stimming and repetition behaviors. Most days we fight the good autism fight. Our lives are arranged around what he can and can not handle. Is it always fair to our other little loves or our older two children? No, no it’s not. However life as we know is not fair. We do the best with what God has given us. And what He has given us is beautiful, chaotic at times but beautiful.
With my first two children, I was the typical mom. We had piano lessons, dance lessons, taekwondo practice, a little t-ball, and soccer. Then came high school and it was marching band, jazz band, color guard, concert band, winter guard, and still taekwondo, They received awards for most everything they participated in. I have a filing cabinet full of awards, still waiting to be scrapbooked. And while I was taken back if they didn’t win something, I didn’t worry about it because I always knew there would be another award/trophy around the corner. Then JR came into our lives.
Autism is so misunderstood and so complicated, yet beautiful and full of surprises. With JR we are not in a hurry to run from ball field to ball field, he could care less about sports. With him we get to see life through his beautiful heart and mind. He has taught me so many things about slowing down and enjoying the small things out of life. Not getting called up during an assembly to receive an award like the other students phases him not. But if I’m honest with myself, it bothers me a little. Ok maybe more than that, maybe more than it should. I know he could be that one in a million that becomes a childhood prodigy, but I know my son. I know that he is beautiful and funny and the happiest kid you will ever meet. I also have come to the realization that he has autism and that’s ok. He is exactly how he is supposed to be. My perfect little sometimes rotten wild man. But sometimes the “normal” mom in me becomes sad at the thought of a life he will never have.
So when my normally quiet seven year old came bouncing in from school, I knew something was up. Then I received a text from his teacher asking me if he had told me about being named Student of the Month? When I asked him about he got the biggest smile on his face. He told me all about hearing his name “over his head” (the school speaker) and how everyone knew his name now. He called his dad and told him about it, and then his big sis. He was so excited because it will mean that Santa would hear about it and maybe just maybe bring him an extra special gift at Christmas. Being student of the month is special momma. Maybe Santa gets special gift for me cause I did so good.
I asked him what kind of special gift he wanted from Santa, you know so I could pass the information along I was floored by what he said. He was not asking for a new plane, or new NASCARs, or LEGOs for himself. My son asked for a new kitchen for our house. I stared at him with a puzzled look and then he ran over to show me what he was talking about. On his tablet he had created a whole house for us. In the center of the house was a beautiful kitchen. From the cabinets to the flooring everything fit so well together. It’s the table(island) you like right momma? I can change the lights if you like. I fought back the tears. Instead of using his “extra gift” from Santa to get himself something he was thinking bigger. He was thinking about all of us. He truly he a special kid.
I don’t think Santa will be getting us that new kitchen, my boy has very expensive taste, but I’m sure he will get something extra. This beautiful little human has taught me so much about the importance of loving others and embracing life. I am so happy he is a happy child. Way to go wild man!!! Momma loves you!
I am so thankful he is adjusting well to his new school. We have been blessed with teachers who see his true potential.
We have also found some wonderful worksheets for all of our kiddos over at Education.com be sure to check them out